Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
