GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Randomize
