I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
