on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Randomize
