Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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