your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
my shit smells like andre
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Randomize
