You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
