I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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