next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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