umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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