we're blogging at a bar
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
