i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
