M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize