I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
How external is "for external use only"?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
