Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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