When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
These tits shall not be calmed
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