Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
