just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
