Yo dont text me then not text me
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
