I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
