Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
