doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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