just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
