Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
