Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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