Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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