the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
we're so committed to being not committed
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