i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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