I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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