My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
