Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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