Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
