yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
