Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
