mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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