the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
