Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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