It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
