She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I forgot wine drunk hurts
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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