4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize