I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
