sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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