Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
