i just google imaged poop.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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