Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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