So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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