You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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