Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize