I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Randomize
