Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
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