Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
