I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
