ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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