Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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