but the lizard people decide everything anyway
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
