worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so let's talk penis.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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