too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
