now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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