i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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