The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Hippo gnu deer
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
