a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just forgot I was standing up.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
