I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
