There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
