she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Everything about him screamed your future.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
