How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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