yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
