Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
third nipple confirmed
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
