The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Let's paint friendship bongs
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
