i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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