Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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