people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
