We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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