PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
