So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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