All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
