I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We need a shit load of segways right now
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
