Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
