I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
