question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
