I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
