margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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