My sheets look like a crime scene.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
