not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
